Cronaldo and Chocolate Wars
The Cronaldo and Chocolate Wars were a March 2012 conflict which threatened to destroy everything we hold dear. Causes On March 10, 2012, Lief expressed opinions about Cronaldo which are clearly wrong and terrible, and as a consequence got his admin powers stripped.http://www.fph.fphblog.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=12718&view=findpost&p=488406 This was a violation of the guidelines of the 40,000 Post Reich. Escalation of hostilities On March 12, Lief toppled a garden chairhttp://www.fph.fphblog.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=12882&view=findpost&p=488440. The United Nations are really worried. Expansion of civil war On March 13, Darkflame expressed his disgust for white chocolate. In response, the anti-cronaldo faction had a bloody falling-out.http://www.fph.fphblog.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=12884&view=findpost&p=488458 Standstill and end of the war By March 20, thousands of independent squabbling factions have firmly entrenched themselves in random parts of the Island, and the war was in a standstill. Eventually, on April 1st, Shusky figured out he was the only non-root admin left with admin powers, and nothing was stopping him from seizing power and ruling with iron fist. Which he did. International reactions Supranational European Union - The EU initially voiced its disgust of Lief's pro-Cronaldo comments. However, Portugal dissented from this EU decision, as did the city of Manchester. Later, the EU was split over the issue of white chocolate, with the west calling the east "a buunch oof diiiiicks" and the east calling the west "A pletoraszci of cockzcszszczszc." Governments 40,000 Post Reich - The Reich has taken a variety of stances on this issue, notably all of them {C} Nazi Germany - The other Reich was unsurprisingly heavily supportive of Cronaldo. Later however, it also voiced its support for the pro-white chocolate movement, noting "the superiority of the white chocolate is a racial fact" and "the nation must be cleansed from all non-white chocolates and communists." It is rumoured that Lief received lots of illicit cookie funds from Hitler. {C} Soviet Russia - Unsurprisingly, the Soviets took the party line and declared their "unrelenting support for cronaldo." {C} Portugal - Portugal wasn't available for comment, because they cannot afford the internet now that the EU has stopped funding them Nile Penguins - The Nile Penguins scurried to the Overlord Council, awkwardly noting they are black and white. A peace enforcing invasion was considered but then they decided to just wait it out. Canada - It was March so Canada was literally frozen and unavaliable. Free State of OTD - The Free State of OTD spent the war in a state of confusion whether it was seceded or not. Numerous bar fights broke out over the matter. Mongolia - Mongolia was like "what the fuck are you even talking about". Vatican - The Pope said you shouldn't be eating chocolate in lent anyway, and that Cronaldo is irrelevant anyway because Bayern are the best team. This briefly united the feuding sides against a common enemy Ministries Ministry of the Nexterior - The ministry deferred to other ministries when asked to comment. Individuals Lionel Messi - Messi would only answer our questions if we ritually sacrificed Maradona and we couldn't carry the fat fuck up the sacrificial pyramids. Cronaldo - Cronaldo was generously available for comment. However, the he tripped over his own legs and we got sent off of the continent by Howard Webb Queen Beatrix - Beatrix remarked, "Wee aare veery conceerneed with the reeceent deeeveeeeelooaoeoaeoopmentsschaaf." Then she proposed marrying cronaldo to a gay prostitute and everyone was like "(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ wisdom" References Category:Wars Category:Wars